He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize