i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
