My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My penis needs a shock collar
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
