Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
dude. I can hear the air.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
