He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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