ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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