Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you would pick up someone in the library
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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