If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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