i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
