when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
ttyl tear gas
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize