Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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