oh god the rape fog is back!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
