Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
