Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
