I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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