i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
