there's paper in my vomit.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
