The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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