her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
