booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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