he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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