Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
