You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
