found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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