I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
