Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
