so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
