Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
