Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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