And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
