Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize