The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
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