if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
