She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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