sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
So apparently I’m into choking now
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