The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
