And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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