This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
