you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
