So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
