I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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