so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize