Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
