the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I would fuck him just for his dog
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
