She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
