Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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