dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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