We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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