why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
