I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
