I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
