What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
