i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
