So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
