I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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