I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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