someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
