Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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