So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
