I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
