i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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