Don't you send me to vm
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
